sensory overload shopping

Digital Art with Wacom Intuous Tablet & Painter Essentials 5.

Second Set of images, since last one with landscape. I learned to use the different tools such as using images I already drew with pencil and pen. Put it as first layer. And multi layer images, used digi watercolor, and FX brush tool. This was great for expressing my description of sensory issues while in stores, much easier then drawing by hand. Including the expression of the girls. And experimenting backgrounds and discover on accident different effects and how they change the images. Helpful for future ideas.

This idea of art, I been influenced by looking at various artists, that express same type of info as mine. Along with using art challenges from online art.. Most artists do use personal stories as it is most familiar and to express to others who are not familiar with it to hope to understand and also those who are familiar with it to say, hell yea. In this case Sensory overload with asd.

The Images: Are a set, and are in a certain order, almost. 

The idea of images are about my recent experience I had in a store, well sensory overloading is a constant experience but this story was more. For first few images, I try to express what a person with sensory issues.

1st image, is what is the items in store, what most people see observe the tons of stuff everywhere, many colors and styles and brands. Where does one start. Just this is overwhelming for many. the next images, I will layer on what person with sensitivity sees.

2nd image: This image I added what a person more sensitive to light would see. a combination of lights from overhead, or glares, reflections or lights from outside, door moving, etc. and sensitivity increase the intensity of light. This is best described to the looks.

Pretend image in middle, when I learn to add sound on here, I would put loud obnoxious or full of beats music going on. Can be distracting to those with sensitive hearing.

After that I would add the sounds of movements, people talking, hangers sliding on metal bars, things picked up and dropped. beeping of door when people enter or go out, sounds from cash register. and multiple people around talking. Imagine all that going on, but then up the sound to be more intense and interferes with what you see and trying to focus.

Image 3: similar to image 2, adding the lights, but the intensity of clothes and color, and maybe people walking around becomes blurs and too many vibrant colors. making hard to see what is really there. My opinion, I maybe over did it with colors.

Image 4: one of people, trying to do on digital art of face expressing hostility. and I messed with background to see effects option on program and effect to face. Even though not needed for message of work.

Image 5: Where the altercation happened. Combine with already sensory overload and having 2 girls approach with hostility accusing you of being suspicious person. And mind is blown. The obvious anxiety increase and shut down has kicked in.

About the topic:

Many do not understand, and its frustrating.

strange dream

Digital art from using Wacom tablet and Corel Essentials 5. Mostly the pencil tool and gray shade.

Story of images: This was a strange dream I had. We tried to rescue ferral rats and other creatures in an old building that was about to be fumigated and torn down. We didn't save any, but someone tells me she saved one for me and gave to me. I saw it, it is not a rat, I dont know what it is, but its not a rat. Its wierd. "You saved me a bug." It had 8 legs like a spider, but a much larger body then a spider, the body was like half ant but much larger, with a hamster tail, and a wierd face. I didn't want to touch it. But what was i to do, I can't turn it away, it is a life. So I made it a box bed. It then went into a box/ bed, and body was on its back and legs tucked in, like a dead spider. Then legs grew back out, coming out of box, looked like a bunch of worms. So I backed and didn't want to look. Later the rest came out, it changed, it was now larger, had 8 legs but more sturdy to walk on, like half octopus or human finger like as legs, and the head was a human head. Like a warrior head and the face expression was serious all the time. But some face proportions were not as human like nose and ears were much larger. It running around my place and table and it somehow communicated to me that they are creatures known to attack humans. Not sure by poison or attack or what. But he won't attack me because he knows we saved him from his life. But I was nervous. Really, he says he won't attack me, but what if he forgets, or get into his moods. These creatures were also known to be moody & easily aggitated. He doesn't mean harm, but the changes, aggitation and forgetting can cause bad. So I don't know if Im safe, and always be a little afraid of this creature. But it lives in my space now, I can't destroy him, I can't kick him out, I have to respect him. I have to let it be what it is, including the scary parts, and accept how it is. 

After I told this story to many people. Someone pointed it, and this sounds very true. I could be talking about a monster inside of me as well. It lives in me, something that can change things and moods come out at bad times. Unpredictable. But I can't destroy him, kick him out. I have to respect him and his space, and accept everything. Something that scares me as well. That I never know when this little monster comes out and can hurt/ruin/ destroy/ sabatage all thats around me. Afraid of the damage that comes from him. Im afraid of the things I do, and the moodiness monster inside of me. Sometimes it comes out, and I forgot who is the people in front of me, and forgot what good they have done. and only get aggitated at whatever. I have to respect my angry creature in my head.

Image 1: The bug thing found, part large ant, hamster tail, spider legs.

Image 2: In box/ bed, rolled over like a dead spider.

Image 3: Worms coming out of box, turned out to be the legs returning.

Image 4: Octopus like body, human head, creapy creature known to attack humans.

Start of Digital art

Start of Digital Art: recently received a gift of Wacom (Intouos Art) tablet and pen using Corel Painter Essentials 5. I must add though, because I am using Mac Os 10.12 Sierra that there a ton of glitches and the techs from corel tell me its not compatible. So with that, Some tools work, many do not, including the eraser tool. So please accept I have some limitations here. I am searching for other art programs that do work with 10.12. but for now, its this. Its a new toy and I must do stuff with it.

Images: using the pen & ink tool. And not using from any image, this coming from my head, thats probably why the tree looks funny. And when I start on a blank canvas and decide to draw a person, I always start with hair. From there that tells me direction of where to put face or what direction, from person went from face, to body, then to dog since he looked to be looking down at something with expression of... something is there. From that the background, which I had no idea what to put so started with horizon lines of hills, then maybe a tree. Then decided to be a desert like background. First image no color, 2nd image color. thats where the water came first. But then I felt to add yellow on shirt and fill in with blue. Strange combo. I have a lot to work on, but glad this experiment to figuring out how to use the tablet & pen got me this far. 3rd image, I decided to really work with more color and make more stronger, and gives more detail, but continued using the fine line pencil tool in a constant sketch and change up colors. I do need to work on more reflective colors. But til then, this is what I got for now.

Computer: corel painter essentials 5, pen ink tool.

computer: corel painter essentials 5, pen ink tool.

few old pics

Just felt like Posting some pics. 

Doodles with Stabilo

Doodles: I do still my doodles but with stabilo pens. I am thinking I like sharpies better because they are more fluid and probably more liquidy that easier to blend. But Stabilo are easier and cheaper to travel with.  My idea of these doodles are free mind, no thoughts or intentions of what Im creating. Just start focus on flow of pen, and let the drawing take you wherever it goes. Should tell myself to do this in other things, like capoeira, instead of stuck on thought and letting anxiety get the best of me.

Image 1: use my regular little silver drawing pad where paper is thicker and smoother. Its only drawing pad like this, so it works good for these type markers, for both sharpies and stabilo. Not sure about other markers.

4x6 stabilo pens

Image 2-4: All used on 3x5 cards. easy to travel with and something to use the markers with. Helping me keep it small and simple too. As in 3 & 4th image I can get more involved and make more complicated looking. 

3x5 stabilo pens

3x5 stabilo pens

3x5 stabilo pens

Placing characters

Pen & story: Using pen to sketch story, but also reworking imaging by moving characters around to work composition or if story fits better. But I work intuitively so I may not see it as easily as some during process of working it out.

Images: Same drawing, but try to move characters around to see if any different or stronger effect of emotion. I prefer the top one, because hand is further away to reach person in crack. But seems strange to have dog and rat closer. Drawing is about emotion from my darkness still lingers from few months ago. But feeling isolated from it, but at same time not able to get right help due to idiot doctors, medications make things worse, over diagnoses, and trouble connecting with people. I'm sure many in the system or in any care can relate.

8.5x11 pen

8.5x11 pen

BoxElder Beetle Freddy

More cartoon idea: Quick sketch of pens/pencil. Continue of personal cartoon images of me and my dog, a rat that represents the ones that use to live in kitchen under oven, and a BoxElder Beetle representing one I see every evening by my work area at same spot. Hoping this could be with a images that have slight humor of my friends are the misfits in my environment. Possibly from watching too many shows or seeing cartoons/ comics. These images about meeting a single beetle that I befriend. And now to work on facial or body expressions that are human like in an insect.

image: first the meeting, try graphite with more detail to beetle, and pen to make more clearly. But I prefer the graphite one better.

8.5"x11 graphite pencil

8.5x11" pen

images: Make interaction with rest of group of my dog and rat, and to practice drawing ways to give them expression like human quality, but keep animal/ creature/ or insect form. While BoxElder Beetle sits and tells his story.

Image: Involving self, similar to another sketch but including the beetle. I do my drawings, with company of my dog, Ginger, the pretend wild rat Max, and new friend a BoxElder Beetle Freddy. 

8.5x11 graphite pencil