Digital art from using Wacom tablet and Corel Essentials 5. Mostly the pencil tool and gray shade.
Story of images: This was a strange dream I had. We tried to rescue ferral rats and other creatures in an old building that was about to be fumigated and torn down. We didn't save any, but someone tells me she saved one for me and gave to me. I saw it, it is not a rat, I dont know what it is, but its not a rat. Its wierd. "You saved me a bug." It had 8 legs like a spider, but a much larger body then a spider, the body was like half ant but much larger, with a hamster tail, and a wierd face. I didn't want to touch it. But what was i to do, I can't turn it away, it is a life. So I made it a box bed. It then went into a box/ bed, and body was on its back and legs tucked in, like a dead spider. Then legs grew back out, coming out of box, looked like a bunch of worms. So I backed and didn't want to look. Later the rest came out, it changed, it was now larger, had 8 legs but more sturdy to walk on, like half octopus or human finger like as legs, and the head was a human head. Like a warrior head and the face expression was serious all the time. But some face proportions were not as human like nose and ears were much larger. It running around my place and table and it somehow communicated to me that they are creatures known to attack humans. Not sure by poison or attack or what. But he won't attack me because he knows we saved him from his life. But I was nervous. Really, he says he won't attack me, but what if he forgets, or get into his moods. These creatures were also known to be moody & easily aggitated. He doesn't mean harm, but the changes, aggitation and forgetting can cause bad. So I don't know if Im safe, and always be a little afraid of this creature. But it lives in my space now, I can't destroy him, I can't kick him out, I have to respect him. I have to let it be what it is, including the scary parts, and accept how it is.
After I told this story to many people. Someone pointed it, and this sounds very true. I could be talking about a monster inside of me as well. It lives in me, something that can change things and moods come out at bad times. Unpredictable. But I can't destroy him, kick him out. I have to respect him and his space, and accept everything. Something that scares me as well. That I never know when this little monster comes out and can hurt/ruin/ destroy/ sabatage all thats around me. Afraid of the damage that comes from him. Im afraid of the things I do, and the moodiness monster inside of me. Sometimes it comes out, and I forgot who is the people in front of me, and forgot what good they have done. and only get aggitated at whatever. I have to respect my angry creature in my head.
Image 1: The bug thing found, part large ant, hamster tail, spider legs.
Image 2: In box/ bed, rolled over like a dead spider.
Image 3: Worms coming out of box, turned out to be the legs returning.
Image 4: Octopus like body, human head, creapy creature known to attack humans.
